More GMOT Predictions!
Pitch Set Me Up v. Where the Pitches At?
Pitch team name puns, so hot right now, Pitch team name puns. I am already bored by this game. At least it will be at 6:30 so I will not have to be anywhere near it. The Minardvarks will win but are clearly a shell of their old self. It is like they did not see their shadow when they came out of the little whole in the tree trunk this season. Wrong animal? Who cares. Pitch Set Me Up by 1.
FirstPlaceOnYourFace v. Purple Haze:
I recommend that Purple Haze hit the doobie long and hard before this game as that, much like music, may make them feel no pain (or at least less pain). FPOYF will continue their reign of terror. FPOYF by 8.
Rhythm Method v. Balls to the Wall:
I am embarrassed for everyone involved in this game. I am not sure which would be less enjoyable, watching this game or reading Festa’s emails. Can neither of these teams win? I thought we had good teams in this league? Balls by 1.
Sloppy Motion v. Bad Case of the Runs:
Sloppy is not very good but they have been doing some weird stuff to the bad teams in the division. I think last week they even beat an allegedly good team. Hopefully no one was injured in the process. Runs, you said you were better, and you lied. I would say more mean things about your team but I am slightly scared/annoyed by the wrath of VP Kim Jong Temkin. Beatings will continue until the reply-alls stop!! Sloppy by 2.
Das Boot v. Purple Haze:
A double header for Purple Haze!?!? That is crazy! Das Boot was only able to slip away with a tie from my team on account of awful playing conditions. Literally, that is the reason why. If they try to argue differently then they are dumber than Kozy’s emails…JOKES! KIDDING! I think Das Boot wins, mostly cause Purple is somehow more overhyped than Das Boot. Isn’t Das Boot supposed to be fun? Only like one of them dressed up for Halloween last week? DBs by 1.
Never Nudes v. Inglorious Blaguards:
GAME OF THE DECADE. Ok not really. But we have been playing against some of the people on this team for basically a decade. There are few things more reliable on a kickball field on a Thursday night than Matt Wilner, much like there are few things less reliable on a Thursday night than Will Lucina’s parenting coverage skills. If Will Lucina and Matt Wilner were the starting cornerbacks for your Thursday night football league, if I was the coach of the other team I would start their wives and children at Wide Receiver cause you know they wouldn’t be anywhere near them. Ok enough poking of the bear, and yes I realize that Lucina is not even on this team, and yes I also realize that the Bears much like the Vikings will not make the playoffs. Blags by 1.
Kicker? v. Armed and Hammered:
Hide the women and children. This game will be a blowout. The game will be more than over before A&H get done with their extensive and unnecessary pre-game warmups. In other news, can we all rejoice that we will be playing the playoffs on thursday nights in Adams Morgan!?!? I know, you may ask, why must we celebrate this since we are playing in a Thursday night Adams Morgan league? I asked the same question at first too. But let’s just say, if I can change, and you can change, and a Russian crowd can change so that they cheer for an undersized boxer from Philadelphia agianst a powerhouse drug infused machine, than maybe we all can change. I actually think that is the plot of Hugh Jackman’s awful new movie Real Steal. TWO SIDES. A&H by 10.
Pillow Pants v. FirstPlaceOnYourFace:
Sorry Pillow Pants, but all your hopes and dreams are about to be crushed. You can talk a big game, you can attempt to fart out lightening bolts from your arse, but you will lose and you will feel bad about yourself after it is over. Even with a 2 hour drink break this game for FPOYF this game will not be close. As a consolotation, I give you the following: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6V2oCX3Hn4 . FPOYF by 7.
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